Autor: José Sobral de Almada Negreiros (1893 – 1970)
Tipo: óleo sobre tela
Dimensões: 100 x 100 cm
Local: Centro de Arte Moderna (Lisboa)
Considero desde longa data, a transformação da forma como compreendemos o acto de dar à Luz, e do nascimento, sem violência – condição necessária para a transição e evolução do ser humano, isto é, condição da sua chegada à Ilha dos Amores. A experiência confirmou e comprovou a verdade e realidade dessa convicção.
Publico aqui na íntegra, o indispensável livro de Frederick Leboyer ”Nascimento sem violência”. Está desde os anos 70 traduzido em português, e editado salvo erro pela D.Quixote. Não tenho o livro à mão, e sei que não o encontra nas livrarias, mas o mais provável é puder encomendá-lo.
Hoje em dia, para além de ler livros dedicados a este assunto, pode encontrar apoio para um parto diferente e melhor, contactando a Associação das doulas portuguesas (da qual darei mais referências no futuro) – penso que poderá encontrar grande amparo, conhecimento e compreensão na preparação para o parto.
Não está doente, muito pelo contrário, é portadora do milagre Vida! A outra sua Mestra, e ajuda numa boa gravidez e parto será sempre: a Natureza. Mas para isso é preciso uma longa aprendizagem…
Veja por favor este meu blog e página como uma site em construção… e volte um dia – pois quando eu puder hei-de procurar melhorar a informação disponível, e, se for o caso, os desejos de um maravilhoso nascimento, e maternidade.
Birth without Violence
by Frederick Leboyer
“To be born is to suffer.”
- GAUTAMA”Do you think babies like being born?”
“What do you mean, like to be born?”
“Exactly what I said. Do you think children are
happy to come into this world?”
“Happy? But a newborn baby doesn’t feel anything.
So it’s neither happy nor unhappy.”
“How do you know that?”
“Well, it’s obvious. Everyone knows that.”
“That’s not much of a reason, is it?”
“I suppose you’re right. But all the same, they
don’t really see or hear properly, do they?”
“And that makes you think they don’t feel anything either?”
“Of course, they don’t.”
“Then why do they cry so bitterly?”
“Well, that’s to expand their lungs, isn’t it?”
“Expand their lungs! That hardly explains it.
My goodness, don’t tell me you’ve never heard a
newborn baby cry!”
“Yes, of course I have. But that doesn’t necessarily mean
“Do you think he’s expressing his pleasure, his delight at
being with us?”
“I don’t think it’s either of those things. I
told you, babies don’t feel anything.”
“And what makes you so sure? If I may ask once more.
“Well, for a start, they’re so small. I mean, at
that age …
“How can an intelligent person like you say that!
As if size had anything to do with it. Small!
As for age, have you forgotten that, the younger you
are, the more intensely you feel? Young children
suffer agonies about things that seem quite trivial
to us because they feel a thousand times more than
we do. This is the blessing and at the same time
the curse of their heightened sensitivity.”
“Well, you could be right. But, all the same, it’s
still hard to understand that they can feel, I mean
there is no real consciousness at that stage, is there?”
“Consciousness? You mean they have no soul?”
“No, no. I don’t mean a soul. I don’t know anything
about the soul.”
“But, consciousness? You know about consciousness?
Wonderful! At last I have found someone who can
explain this great mystery to me. My friend, I am
on my knees. Tell me, please tell me. What is
“Well . . . actually . . . well, you see,
well . . . consciousness . . .”
Let’s not continue this discussion.
Arguing is refusing to see things as they are.
Things, that is to say, facts.
The simple fact is that as soon as a child is
born he starts to cry and how bitterly.
And although this is very strange, it is the one
thing that delights everyone there.
“How beautifully my child cries!”
exclaims the happy mother, thrilled and amazed that
something so little can make so much noise. Does this crying simply mean that all the reflexes
are normal and that the machine works?
So man is nothing but a machine?
Or could the cries be trying to express some pain,
some terrible sorrow.
If the baby is crying with such intensity doesn’t it
mean that he’s suffering terribly?
Could childbirth be as distressing for the child as
for the mother?
And if so, does anyone care?
It doesn’t seem so, judging by the way we treat
the new arrival.
Alas, it seems a deeply rooted idea that “it”
doesn’t see anything, “it” doesn’t hear anything.
How, then, could “it” feel anything like sorrow
The answer is simple:
“it” cries, “it” screams,
is an object.
And what if, by any chance,
The newborn baby … a person?
Medical books will tell you quite the opposite.
How often does the scientific truth of one day become
the lie of the next.
So how do we know what is what?
Looking at the facts,
that is to say, asking the person concerned, the
child, might give us the answer.
The trouble is that a newborn baby can’t speak.
And yet when you think of all the noise they make,
it’s hard to say they cannot express themselves.
If a Chinese man breaks his leg, although you may not
speak a word of Chinese, you can understand his
And when it comes to screaming, who in the world
can scream like a newborn baby?And if you won’t take my word for it,
see for yourself
What else is there to say?
The tragic forehead, the screaming mouth, these
closed eyes, clenched eyebrows, these desperate,
pleading, outstretched hands, these feet,
furiously kicking, the legs curled up to protect
the tender stomach, this flesh which is nothing but
a mass of spasms, jolts.
How could you say that a baby doesn’t speak when
with his whole being he’s protesting:
“Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me! Leave me
And at the same time begging:
“Help me! Somebody please help me!”Has there ever been such despair in one voice?
This child is in agony.
But nobody even hears it.
Isn’t that extraordinary?
“Do you mean to say that … the reason this baby is
crying so bitterly … do you think he’s trying to
tell us . . .”
“Your mind will use any trick in order to block out
what it really means to be born.
Looking at the pictures we’ve seen, people might say:
‘But that’s not a normal birth. This baby is being
tortured by sadists!’
Just ordinary people like you and me.
And if you don’t believe me,
just look. Just see.”
The Holy Family.
In its modern version, that is.
A child has just been born. The mother and father
look on delightedly. Even the young obstetrician
smiles. The same look of wonder and happiness
lights up all their faces.
Everyone is radiant with happiness.
Everyone except the child.
You hadn’t even noticed the child, had you?Oh no! This can’t be true!
This mask of indescribable agony, these hands
clutching, clinging onto this head, like someone
struck by lightning, shattered, who at any moment
is going to fall to the ground, like a mortally
This . . . a birth?
It’s a murder.
And in the midst of all this suffering,
the parents . . . in rapture!
But it can’t be true!
No! It can’t be true!
And yet, it is true.
Yes, this is birth
for the child.
Isn’t it amazing how blind we can be?
Let us try to understand why.
Actually it is simple.
Take the young doctor; what is he smiling about?
The happy child?
“His” delivery has been a success. Mother and baby
are doing well, so this man is pleased.
Pleased with himself’ that is to say.
And the mother?
Blissfully happy as she smiles at her baby.
Maybe she’s smiling because it’s over.
She’s done it!
She’s very relieved, and more than anything, she’s
Proud of herself most probably.
This man who has more than likely never done very much
out of the ordinary, has managed to produce (or so he
is thinking!) a son and heir!
A small heir who’s going to carry on the accomplishments
of his parents!
Of course he’s proud!In fact, you could say everyone is delighted.
All delighted with themselves,
Isn’t it a tragedy?
We should be crying tears of shame, crying for our own
The same blindness that made us think women had to
suffer simply because we didn’t know any better.
Happily we no longer believe in the old saying:
“In pain shall ye give birth.”
Isn’t it time to do for the child what we’ve been
trying to do for the mother?
But what can be done for this poor child?
Are we to look to the amazing advances in modern
technology for the answer?
No. Quite the contrary.
It was only when we asked what caused a woman to suffer
when she gives birth that we began to see it was
her FEAR that made her fight and tighten up, lock
herself into the vicious circle:
the more pain, the more fear,
the more fear, the more pain.
With the same simple approach let’s try and
understand what makes the child suffer.
To be born is to suffer.
Birth is pain.
For the woman, as we all know, and for the child
as we have forgotten.
Now that we are finally aware of it, let us try to
What is it that makes being born such a horror?
The nightmare of being born is not so
much the pain as the fear.
For the baby, the world is a terrifying place.
It is the vastness, the enormity of the whole
experience of being born which so terrifies this little traveller.
Blindly, madly, we assume that the newborn baby feels
In fact, he feels . . . everything.
Everything, totally, completely, utterly,
and with a sensitivity we can’t even begin to
Birth is a tempest, a tidal wave of sensations
and he doesn’t know what to make of them.
Sensations are felt more acutely, more strongly by the child,
because they are all new, and because his skin is
so fresh, so tender,
while our blunted deadened senses have
The result of age, or maybe of habit.
Let’s begin with sight.
A newborn baby cannot see.
Or so we are told in books, and have come to believe.
Otherwise, we could never
shine a light straight into the eyes of a newborn baby
as we do.
What if we were to lower the lights as the child is being
But why lower lights for someone who
Maybe it is time that
opened our eyes.
If we did, what might we see?
Just as the head emerges, while the body is still
prisoner, the child opens his eyes wide. Only to
close them again instantly, screaming, a look of
indescribable suffering on his tiny
Are we trying to brand our children with the marks of
suffering, of violence
by blinding them as we do with dazzling lights?
What goes on before a bullfight?
How is a furious charging bull produced, mad with
pain and rage?
He is locked up in the pitch dark for a week
then chased out into the blinding light of the arena.
Of course he charges! He’s got to kill!
Perhaps there lurks a murderer in the heart of
every man as well. Is it surprising?
Do you imagine a newborn child is deaf?
No more than he’s blind.
By the time he arrives in this world he’s been
aware of sound for a long time. He already
knows many sounds from the universe which is his mother’s
intestines rumbling, joints cracking,
and that spellbinding rhythm, the heartbeat,
even nobler, grander,
the throbbing undercurrent, the swell,
sometimes the storm
that is “her” breath.
Then . . . “her” voice, unique in
its quality, its mood, its accent, its inflections.
Out of all of which is woven, as it were, this child.
From a great distance come the sounds of the
What a symphony!But remember that all these sounds are muffled,
filtered, cushioned by the waters.
So that once the child is out of the water, how the
Voices, cries, any small sounds in the room
are like a thousand thunderclaps to the unhappy
It is only because we are unaware, or because we have
forgotten how acute the sensitivity of a newborn baby is
that we dare talk at the top of our voices or even, at times,
shout out orders in a delivery room.
Where we should be as spontaneously and respectfully
silent as we are in a forest or a church.
Now we begin to suspect what a calamity,
what a disaster it can be to be born,
to arrive suddenly into the midst of all this
ignorance, all this unintentional cruelty.
What about the newborn baby’s skin?
This timorous skin that quivers at the slightest
touch, this skin that knows if what approaches is
friend or foe and can start to tremble,
this skin, raw as an open wound, which until this moment
has known nothing but the caress of the friendly
waves lapping it.
What is in store for it now?
the macabre deadness of surgical gloves,
the coldness of aluminium surfaces,
the towels, stiff with starch.
So the newborn baby screams,
Once the scales begin to fall from our eyes
and we become aware
of the torture we’ve made of birth,
something in us cannot but shout
“Stop! Just stop!”Hell is no abstraction.
Not as a possibility in some other world at
the end of our days,
but here and now, right at the start.
Who would be surprised to learn that such visions
of horror haunt us for the rest of our days?
Is that it then?
Is that the extent of the torture?
There is fire, which burns the skin, scalds the eyes,
engulfs the whole being, as if this poor baby had
to swallow this fire.
Think back to your first cigarette, or your
first whiskey, and remember the tears it brought
to your eyes, how your choking breath protested.
Such a memory might begin to help you understand how
the baby feels drawing in his first gulp of air.
Of course the baby screams, his whole being
struggling to expel this vicious fire,
to fight bitterly this precious air, which is
the very substance of life!
So it all begins with a “No!”
to life itself
If even that were the end of the suffering,
But it isn’t.No sooner is the child born, than we grasp his feet
and dangle him upside down in mid-air!
To get a sense of the unbearable
vertigo the child experiences, we must go
back a bit, back to the womb.
In the womb the child’s life unfolded like
a play in two acts;
two seasons, as different as summer from
In the beginning, the “golden age.”
The embryo, a tiny plant, budding, growing
and one day becoming a fetus.
From vegetable to animal; movement appears,
spreading from the little trunk outward, to the extremities.
The little plant has learned to move its branches,
the fetus is now enjoying his limbs.
Yes, this is the golden age!
This little being is weightless; free of all shackles,
Carried weightless by the waters,
light as a bird,
flashing as quickly, as brilliantly as a fish.
In his limitless kingdom,
in his boundless freedom,
as if’ passing through the immensity of time,
he tries on all the robes,
he tastes and enjoys all the forms
which Life has dreamed up for Itself.
Alas, why must it be that everything must become
its own opposite?
This is, unfortunately,
to which all things must bow.
So it is that, dancing in tune to this Universal
Night leads towards Day,
Spring to Winter.
It is the inevitable law that turns the enchanted
garden where the child once played so freely
into a garden of shadows and sorrow.
During the first half of pregnancy the egg
(that is to say the membranes which surround and contain
the fetus, and the waters in which he swims) has
been growing more quickly than the child.
But from now on the reverse becomes true:
the fetus is now growing much bigger, becoming
a little child.
The egg does the opposite. It has achieved its own
perfection and hardly grows any more.
Because he is growing so large, one day the child
comes upon something solid: the walls of the uterus,
and learns for the first time that his kingdom has
Because he keeps on growing, the space around him
becomes more and more confined.
His world seems to be closing in on him,
gripping him in its clutches.
The former absolute monarch must now reckon with the
Careless freedom, golden hours!
My foolish youth!
Where have you gone?
Why have you left me?
The child, once his own master, now becomes a
And what a prison.
Not only do the walls press in on him,
squashing him from all sides,
but the floor is coming up to meet him,
even as the ceiling is descending slowly,
relentlessly, forcing his neck to bend.
What is there for him to do but bow his head in submission,
accept this abasement.
But one day he is rewarded for his
To his surprise the grip is now an embrace.
The walls are suddenly alive, and the clutch has become
His fear is changing into pleasure!
Now he revels in the very sensations that first made
When they come he quivers with pleasure,
curves his back,
bends his head
but this time, with anticipation, with wonder.What is happening?…
What is the reason for all this?
The contractions of the final month of pregnancy,
warming the uterus, preparing it for its new role.
But then one day …
the gentle waves lash into a storm .
and there is anger in this embrace!
It’s grinding, crushing, instead of holding,
The once pleasant game has become horrible. . .
It’s not being caressed, it’s being hunted.
I thought you loved me,
but now you’re squeezing me, killing me,
pushing me down.
You want me to die,
to launch myself into . . . this emptiness,
this bottomless pit!
With all the strength he can muster,
the child resists.
Not to leave, not to go, not to jump …
anything … but not this void.
He’s fighting not to be cast out, not to be expelled,
and of course he’s going to lose.
His back stiffens, his head hunches down
into his shoulders,
his heart thumps as if it will break, the child
is nothing but a mass of terror.
The walls are closing in on him like a
wine press crushing grapes.
His prison has become
which is turning into a funnel.
As for his terror, which is limitless,
it has turned into rage.
Animated by rage,
he’s going to attack.
These walls are trying to kill me,
they must give way!
And these walls are . .
My mother who carried me,
who loved me!
Has she gone mad?
Or have I?
This monster won’t let go.
My head, oh my poor head,
this poor head which bears the brunt
of all this misery.
It’s going to explode.
The end is in sight.
It must mean death.
How can he know, this poor, unhappy child,
that the darker the gloom, the obscurity,
the closer he is to reaching
the light, the very light of life!
It is then that everything seems to
The walls have released me, the prison, the dungeon
Has the entire universe exploded?
I am born …
and around me,
the void.Freedom, unbearable freedom.
Before, everything was crushing me, killing me, but at
least I had shape, I had some form!
Prison, I cursed you!
Mother, oh my mother, where are you?
Without you, where am I?
If you are gone
I no longer exist.
Come back, come back to me,
Hold me! Crush me!
So that I may be!
Fear always strikes from behind.
The enemy always attacks you from the rear.
The child is wild with anxiety
for the simple reason that he is not being held
His back, which has been curled up for months,
which the contractions have drawn taut as a bow,
is suddenly released,
like a bow having let fly its arrow.
But what a shock!
To calm, reassure and pacify the
terrified child, we must gather up his little body,
hold it back from the void, save it from this unwanted
liberty, which he cannot yet taste or enjoy,
because it came all at once, and far too quickly.
We must help him the same way we regulate the air
for a deep sea diver who has surfaced too fast.What fools we are!
Instead of gathering up the little body,
we hang it by its feet, leaving it swinging in the void.
As for the head, this poor head,
which has borne the brunt of the catastrophe,
we let it dangle, and give the poor child the sense
that everything is whirling, spinning,
that the universe holds nothing but unbearable vertigo.
Next, where do we put this martyr, this child
who comes from the security, the warmth of the womb?
we put him onto
the freezing harshness of the scales!
Steel, hard and cold, cold as ice,
cold which burns like fire.
A sadist couldn’t do better.
The baby screams louder and louder.
Yet everyone else is in rapture.
“Listen! Listen to him cry!” they say,
delighted at all the noise he’s making.Then he’s off again.
Carried by his heels of course.
Another trip, more vertigo.
He’s put somewhere on a table and we abandon him, but not
Now for the drops.
It wasn’t enough to stab his eyes with light
directed right onto his face, now we’ve got something
even worse in store for him.
Since we are the adults, we are the stronger,
we decide .
Of course, we prevail.
We force the tender eyelids open,
to apply a few drops of burning liquid….
Drops of fire, supposed to protect him from an
infection long since eradicated.
As if he knows what’s coming,
he struggles like one possessed,
he squeezes his eyelids tightly together
trying desperately to protect himself.
Then he’s left on his own.
Adrift in this incomprehensible, insane, hostile
which seems bent on destroying him.
Suddenly an amazing thing happens:
at the limit of his tears, the limit of his breath,
at the limit of his misery, the newborn finds a way
Not that his legs can take him anywhere, but
he can flee to within himself
Arms and legs clasped, curled up into a ball,
almost as though he were a fetus again.
He has rejected his birth, and the world as well.
He’s back in paradise,
willing prisoner in a symbolic womb.
But his precious moments of peace don’t last
He must be elegant, reflect well on his mother!
So for her sake he is squeezed into those implements of
torture we call clothes.
The glass has been drained to its dregs.
The worn-out, defeated child gives up.
He lets himself fall back into the arms of his only
his one refuge:
This torture, this slaughter of an innocent,
is what we have made of birth.
But how naive, how innocent to imagine
no trace will remain;
that one could emerge unscathed, unmarked, from
such an experience.
The scars are everywhere:
in our flesh, our bones, our backs,
our nightmares, our madness,
and all the insanity, the folly of this world -
its tortures, its wars, its prisons.Of what else do all our myths and legends cry,
all our holy scriptures,
if not of this tragic odyssey.
Birth Without Violence
The answer is in the question
We were wondering about how best to prepare the
Now we can see it’s not the child who needs
to be prepared.
It is ourselves.
It is our eyes that need to open,
our blindness that has to stop.
If we used just a little intelligence,
how simple things could be.
In short, everything begins in paradox.
The child was in prison,
and as soon as he’s free,
This, they say, often happens to prisoners.
We open the cell doors,
and the freedom makes the prisoners disoriented,
goes to their heads!
In fact, they begin to behave as if they missed
their cells, their jail, and would prefer to be locked up
And unconsciously they do everything they
can to find themselves once more safely behind bars!
In the same way, seeing the newborn baby panic-stricken
by his freedom, you feel like saying:
“Why are you crying?
You are absolutely miserable when you should be
Try and understand what’s happened,
so you can enjoy your new freedom!
See how you can stretch yourself’
play and move around!
What are you crying about?”At that point everything seems to be in a state of
complete confusion, almost impossible to repair.
And yet it is all very simple.
As we shall see.
To communicate we must speak to the child in a language
he can understand, one which doesn’t rely on words
and yet may be understood by anyone.
Speak … the language of love … to a newborn!
Why, yes, of course!
How else do lovers communicate?
They don’t say anything, they simply touch.
Because they are modest and shy, they shun the
prefer darkness, night.
In obscurity, in silence, they
reach for each other, wrapping their arms around
each other, they re-create the old prison,
in which they feel safe, protected
from the world outside.
Their hands speak,
and it is their bodies that understand.
So this is the way to talk to the newborn:
in silence and darkness,
with gentle but loving hands,
that reassure and move slowly,
and in time with his breathing.
But let us go step by step,
sense by sense as it were.
Let us begin with sight.
Like lovers, let’s turn down the lights.
Who could make love under a spotlight?
Therefore let’s keep only the least light – a candle
for instance – for the sake of the doctor’s vision.
How peaceful, how calming this half light is,
and so much in keeping with the mother’s own inner
Nothing could be simpler; all we have to do is
Perhaps it’s not as easy as it sounds at first.
The mind is so noisy.
It is not always easy to stay silent in the company
One has a tendency to think of something and feel impelled
to say it.
Yet it is only if we pay attention to the other,
and to our own depths, that we will experience that
something beyond words.
But silence is not something that comes spontaneously
to us, rather we must search for this and call it up
from deep within us.
In fact, the first women who experienced
silence in childbirth found it so new that they were
disturbed, even frightened.As the end of labour is approaching, there should be
very few words spoken in the room.
In the quiet you can feel that you are coming
very close to something of gravity.
The silence will be like the hush that settles over the room
of someone who is dying.
Perhaps it is the same threshold we cross,
whether coming or going.
Such an almost tangible silence has a most powerful
effect on the child, although how or why cannot
Yet it dispels the panic,
holds back the fear that was waiting to
surge up within the child.
Of course, at times it is necessary to say something,
to give an instruction.
This must be whispered, almost
When we first attempted this,
our hushed voices took women so completely by
surprise, that they were overtaken
by panic. In this intense
silence all the mothers could hear . . . was that
they couldn’t hear anything!
The children responded spontaneously to
But the mothers’ eyes, as they darted from one
face to another, begging for an answer,
told of the women’s surprise.
Unable to hold back, they burst out:
“Why isn’t my baby crying?”
It was agonising.
It was astounding. It was heartbreaking.
“Why isn’t my baby crying?”
It was like the cry of an inconsolable child whose toy was
not what he had been hoping for.
We had not thought it necessary to tell the
mothers beforehand that their babies probably would
And because this silence seemed so pleasing to us,
it had never occurred to us that it might frighten
“My child isn’t alive!” would wail the despairing
It was ludicrous.
“Your child is fine!” we would whisper.
The whispering made things worse.
“What are you whispering about? Is my baby dead?
Oh, no! My baby is dead!”
Dead! Even as the child was wriggling and moving
on her belly.
“Stop!” we would say. “Dead people don’t move!
Can’t you feel your child moving; can’t you sense
how happy he is?”
But our words went unheard.
All this made us realise that we should have
explained to the mother what was going to
happen. A silent happy newborn is so
new and unexpected, it goes completely
against accepted ideas.
So we tried, although a bit late, to explain
the silence: that it was maintained out of
respect for the child, out of concern for his ears,
that we were quiet because we didn’t want to frighten
him with our loud voices. We tried to explain to the
mothers that it is no more necessary for her child to
be born suffering and screaming, than it is that
she go through hell in order to give birth.
Our explanations came too late. Their eyes remained
full of doubt, of regret!
This education, this initiation into silence is
just as necessary for all those who
attend the woman when she’s giving birth: the
obstetrician, the midwife, the nurses.
People tend to speak loudly in delivery rooms,
often shouting their words of encouragement:
“Come on, push! Push!”
Which is a complete mistake.
Intended as encouragement, these loud exhortations
are instead most disturbing
for the mother.
For a woman in labour is in
what might be called an altered state of
consciousness, and hypersensitive to
the slightest noise or movement around her.
Darkness, or almost, and . . . silence.
A profound peace settles in the room.
You can feel the respect which naturally
attends the arrival of a baby.
One doesn’t shout in a church.
One spontaneously lowers one s voice.
If there is such a thing as a sanctified place, surely
it is the room the child is about to enter.Subdued light, silence . . . what else is needed?
Or rather, the sense that one should slow down
and thereby enter into another rhythm; the profound
rhythm of life,
to which the mother has spontaneously become attuned,
and which is also the tempo of the child.
Unless you have re-created this incredible languor
in your own body, it is impossible to understand
birth. Impossible to meet the newborn on his terms.
In order to reach this deep understanding, to arrive at
a place where you can meet the child, you have to, as it
were, step out of time.
Step out of our time.
Meaning our strong, familiar sense
of how time is flowing, of the apparent speed, with which
for us, it seems to flow.
Our sense of time, and the time sense of the
newborn baby are practically irreconcilable.
The one is a state of near stasis,
the other state, ours, is often a frenzied restlessness,
close to madness.
Besides, we adults are never “here.”
We are always somewhere else.
In the past, in our memories.
In the future, in our plans.
We’re always looking back, at what is gone,
or ahead, at what is yet to happen.
Never focusing on “here and now!”
Yet if we have any hope of rediscovering the newborn
we must step outside of our own furiously running time.
Which seems impossible.
How can we step out of time?
How can we escape its fast and furious flow?
The only way is by trying to be fully with the present
Yes, to be here and now, as if there were no yesterday, no
To allow any thought that the moment
will end, that another appointment awaits,
is enough to break the spell.
As usual, everything is very simple.
And apparently impossible.
How can we reconcile the irreconcilable?
How can finite combine with infinite?
It can only happen if we open completely to the other,
which means completely forgetting oneself
Now the stage is set.
The lights are dimmed.
The curtain may rise.
The child can make his entrance.
At last he is here.
Head first, and then his shoulders, one after the
Either all this happens naturally, or some help is
needed at this critical moment.
As soon as the head is out the child wants to draw breath,
which is impossible for him because his chest is still
imprisoned in his mother’s body.
If the shoulders are stuck, his progress
comes to a halt, and help is needed quickly,
because anguish is building up furiously in
How can we help?
By sliding a finger under the child’s armpit we can help
the rotation of his body and liberate the little prisoner.
Then, holding him under both arms we hoist him
out, as if pulling him from a well, and put him
straight onto his mother’s belly.
Most important of all, we never, never, at any time
touch his head.He’s lying on his mother’s belly.
And where better to receive the child, this
belly. It is the exact shape to receive
the baby. When he was within, it was rounded and convex,
it has now become hollow, and waits like a nest to cradle
Soft and supple, it moves with
the rhythm of the mother’s breathing,
and the living warmth of her body makes it
the perfect place for the newborn to be.
Finally, and this is most important, because the
baby remains so near to her, the umbilical cord can remain
Cutting the cord the moment a baby has emerged from his
mother’s womb is an act of extreme cruelty, and harms
the baby to an extent that is hard to believe.
Leaving it intact, however, so long as it
continues to beat, transforms the whole birth experience.
For one thing, it forces the obstetrician to be
patient, and leads him, as well as the mother, to respect
the rhythm, the sense of time ordained by the child.
Besides, leaving the cord intact allows the
natural physiological changes to take place within the
child’s body at their own pace.We have already described the way air suddenly rushing
into the baby’s lungs has the same effect on him
as a burn. But there is more.
Before his birth, the child lived in oneness.
For him there was no difference between
the world and himself’ because inside and outside were
one. He knew nothing of polarities. He didn’t
know about being cold, for example, because cold
cannot exist without heat. The body temperature of
the mother and the baby are exactly the same. How
then could he appreciate any contrast?
So you might say that before birth, there was neither
inside nor outside, any more than there was hot or
As he enters this world, the newborn baby encounters
for the first time a kingdom of opposites in which
everything is either good or bad, pleasant or
unpleasant, agreeable or disagreeable, wet or dry.
What is the gate through which he enters this kingdom
Not through his senses, that comes much later,
but through breathing.
When he takes his first breath, he crosses a threshold,
He breathes in, and from this action is born its
opposite: he breathes out.
And then in turn …
Thus he is launched irrevocably into the eternal
cycle, the never-ending oscillation, the very principle
of our world, in which everything comes back to this
breath, this pulsation.
He is in the world where everything, for always,
is born of its own opposite:
day from night, summer from winter,
riches from poverty, strength from weakness,
To breathe is to become one with the world outside,
to tune to the music of the spheres.
Its function is to make the blood take in oxygen,
and get rid of wastes, mostly carbon dioxide.
But in this simple exchange, two worlds come
near each other, try to mix and touch: the world
of outside and the world of inside.
Two worlds, separated, try to reunite:
the interior world of the organism, the little “I,”
and the exterior world, the vast universe.It is in the lungs where they meet – the blood
mounting from one’s own depths, the air
coming from above.
The blood and air rush to conjoin, anxious
to mix and mingle.
Of course they can’t, separated as they are by
the barrier of the alveol membrane.
Both sigh for this lost oneness.
The blood arrives in the lungs, depleted of its
oxygen, its strength spent, dark with waste: the carbon
dioxide which makes it old.
Here it is going to rid itself of its old age, gain its
Transformed by this visit to the fountain of youth, it
departs, alive, red and rich!
It returns to the depths where it gives forth its riches.
Once more lets itself be filled with
wastes, and then returns to the lungs. Thus the cycle
As for the heart, it keeps pumping, pushing the blood,
sending it, rich and red towards the thirsty tissues of
the organism, and sending it back when it has
become old and worn-out, for renewal to
How does all this happen in the fetus,
where the lungs are not yet working? The blood of
the fetus, just like ours, needs to be renewed.
The placenta fulfils this role.
Among other things it does, it takes the place
of the lungs.
The blood comes and goes through the umbilical cord,
which contains three conduits, a vein and two arteries,
covered by a sheath.
So, the blood of the fetus renews itself’ not
by contact with air, but in the placenta by contact with
the blood of the mother, which in her lungs … and so on.
The mother, in effect, breathes for the baby, just as
she eats for him, carries him, protects him, sleeps and
Yes. The child is completely dependent
before his birth.
But then what happens?
A total upheaval: The blood, that until then flowed
through the cord, suddenly rushes into the lungs!
The child abandons the old route, he leaves the way of
In the act of drawing breath, of oxygenating his own blood
with his own lungs, the child becomes himself’ in effect
saying, “Woman, what do we have in common?
I no longer need an intermediary between myself and the
Of course it is only a first step, for all the rest he
still relies totally on his mother.
But it’s a step in the right direction.
With his first breath, the child sets forth on the road to
independence, to autonomy, to freedom.
But practically speaking much depends on the way
this transition takes place.
Whether this transition is made slowly, progressively, or
brutally, in panic and terror, can make the difference
between a gentle birth
…or a tragedy.
If the changeover comes abruptly it will leave a mark
for the rest of life. Any future change will always be
perceived as threatening.
Of course, the child must not, at all costs, be deprived
of oxygen, not even for one moment.
Here there is no quarrel with medical science
which agrees perfectly with nature’s plan.
Nature provides oxygen for the
child through two sources:
the cord continues to beat, even as the lungs begin to
The two systems work together, one taking over from the
other, like a relay. The first, the cord, continues
to oxygenate the child until the new system, the lungs,
have taken over completely.Although the child is out of the womb, he remains dependent
on his mother through the umbilical cord, which continues to
beat strongly for several minutes, four or five,
sometimes even longer.
Oxygenated through the cord, and thus protected from
anoxia, the child can, without shock or danger, settle
down to breathing without being rushed, in his own
What should we do during these critical few minutes
of the transition of the blood from the old route through
the placenta to the newly working lungs?
We must understand that Nature herself doesn’t take
sudden leaps and has her own pace. She has left
this time, these few minutes, so that this change over from
one world to another can be made with ease.
She has made it so that the baby is oxygenated from two
sources for several minutes as, at the same time, an orifice
in the heart closes, and the baby is then safely on his
For a few minutes the baby straddles two worlds, as it
were. Then slowly, slowly he can cross the threshold from
one to the other peacefully and easily, and with all safety,
as long as we don’t rush in, interfere,
and can manage to quell our old reflexes, our nervousness,
born, in fact, out of the anxiety of our own birth.
The effect on the well-being of the child will be
immeasurable.We are all so quick to blame Nature, when actually
she’s so full of love and wisdom, and it is only we
who are too blind to see.
Whether the cord is cut abruptly or allowed to stop
beating of its own accord completely changes,
even determines the way in which a child perceives his entry
into the world, and, consequently, the way he will react
to the continuous change which is life. You might say
that his perception of this moment will colour the rest
of his life
If we cut the cord immediately, we create a situation
which is the opposite of the one nature intended.
By clamping the cord before the lungs are fully operative
we deprive the child’s brain of oxygen.
The organism cannot but react violently to our aggression,
and then a whole system of stress comes into play.
Not only will we have done something absurd and
uncalled for, but we will have set up what Pavlov called a
conditioned reflex which will recur
What have we linked together?
Life and breath,
breath and the fear of impending death.
What geniuses we are!
You might then ask how is it that even when the
transition has been allowed to take place in its own
time the child may still give a cry or two?
The answer is simple.
The thoracic cage, now that nothing is compressing it,
suddenly expands, thus creating a void.
The air rushes in and it burns.
Naturally the child tries furiously to expel the air.
This is the first cry.
Then, often, everything stops.
The child pauses, as if dumbfounded by his own suffering.
It can happen that he might repeat the cry two or three
times before this pause.
Then when this pause comes, it is we who
panic. And usually … a slap on the bottom
follows. But now that we know better and can control
our impulses, our fears, and trusting the strong beat of
the cord, we can keep our hands to ourselves.
Soon we will see …
breathing beginning again of its own accord.
Hesitant at first, timid, careful, it will still pause from
time to time, marking little breaks.
The child, oxygenated as he is by the cord, is pacing himself
and taking in only as much of the burning element
as he can put up with, then pausing, only to start again.
As he gets used to it, he begins to breathe more deeply.
Soon he learns to enjoy what, in the beginning, was so
very painful. Very soon, his breathing, which was
at first so hesitant and doubtful, becomes joyous.
In all, the child has given only one or two cries.
All we hear now is a deeply peaceful breathing,
punctuated by short cries, exclamations of surprise,
or even sighs of pleasure.
Mixed with this breath are the sounds the baby
is making with his lips, his nose, his throat.
A language all its own.
And never, never, those screams of terror,
those wails of despair, those hysterical shrieks.
Maybe a child has to give one or two cries when he’s
but must they be cries of anguish?
Because the child is pleased with this new experience,
tasting it in all its newness, he can easily forget the
world he has left behind.
No regrets, not a backward glance.
Coming into life is like waking from a long and pleasurable
sleep, and not from a nightmare.
When the present is so delightful, why cling to the past?Now that the cord has stopped beating, we can cut it.
Not a sound, no crying, no cause for alarm, not even a
tremor; it has simply become obsolete, and so can be
An old bond has been left behind.
We have not wrenched the child from his mother,
they have simply parted, and will go their separate ways.
Why would the young traveller yearn for the past
when his voyage ends so happily and he has found the other
bank, so tranquilly, so surely?
How intelligent, what a blessing such a birth is.
Because we left the cord beating it is as if
his mother had accompanied him across the border, and led
him gently into this formidable and forbidding world.
Just as later, when he learns to walk, she will be there
offering him her hand to hold.
An open hand that the child can grasp and let go of as
he takes his first tentative steps.
What a poor mother it would be who suddenly
withdrew her hand the moment her child began to trust his
Learn to respect this sacred moment of birth,
as fragile, as fleeting, as elusive as dawn.
The child is there, hesitant, tentative,
unsure which way he’s about to go.
He stands between two worlds.For heaven’s sake don’t touch him,
don’t push him,
unless you want him to fall.
Let him wait until he feels
the time is right.
Have you ever watched a bird take flight?
As he’s still walking, he’s heavy, awkward,
his wings drag, and then suddenly
graceful, elegant and free.
He was the son of earth,
now he’s the child of the skies.
Can you say when he left one kingdom for the other?
It is so subtle, the eye can hardly catch it.
As subtle as stepping in,
or out, of time,
to be born,
or to die.
What of the tide,
only to fall.
At what moment did it turn?
Is your ear sharp enough to hear the ocean breathe?
Yes, this birth,
this wave parted from wave,
born from the sea
without ever leaving her.
Don’t ever touch it with your rough hands.
You understand nothing of its mysteries.
But the child,
the drop from this ocean,
A wave pushes him towards the shore,
another pulls him back,
only to push him higher still.
and he’s out of the flood.
He’s parted from water,
and come to the land.
He’s frightened, terrified.
Let him be.
This child is awakening
for the very first time.
This is his first dawn.
Allow him its grandeur, its majesty.
Don’t even stir until he leaves behind
the night and its kingdom of dreams.
The rest, you might say, is detail.
Once breathing is well-established, everything is
All has either succeeded or failed.
But details, as always, are not without importance.
For example, in what way should we put the baby on
his mother’s belly?
Should we lie him on his side, on his stomach,
or flat on his back?
Never flat on his back.
That would cause the spinal column, which has been
curved for so long, to straighten all at once.
It would suddenly let loose all the dormant energy
locked in there and the shock would be too much. It
would be like an explosion.
Let the child unfold his back when he feels ready
Don’t forget that each child comes equipped with
his own character, his own temperament, his own pace.There are some, who are no sooner born, than they lift their
heads proudly, draw themselves up, and stretch out
their arms as if to say:
These are the strong ones, who settle into their
new kingdom as if they were kings.
Their spines straighten with the force of a
tightly strung bow releasing its arrow.
But sometimes, the very same children will then
withdraw, pull back, frightened by their own
audacity, their own bravery.
There are others, who start off curled up in a little
ball, and only open up little by little, making
their discoveries cautiously.
Because we cannot anticipate what’s to come, the best
thing to do is to put the child flat on his belly,
with his arms and legs tucked under him.
This is a familiar posture, the one that
best allows the abdomen to breathe freely and
the baby to work his way, at his own speed, towards
the final unbending.
Then, because the child is on his front,
we can keep an eye on his back, and see how he is
In fact, the bending of the spine, of the back, and
the beginning of breathing are all one.
We can watch how breathing takes over the
whole of the baby’s body. Not only the chest but
also the belly, and especially the sides.
Very soon the baby is nothing but breath,
which passes like a wave from the top of his head
to the small of his back.
This wave is like the shadow of the contractions
which, like waves themselves, pushed the baby to
At the same time it is like watching a tree
start to grow.
Out comes an arm, usually the right, stretching
like the branch of a tree.
Then the other. Both seem surprised that nothing
stops them any more, that space can be so limitless,
It’s like watching branches grow out of the power of
the breath. The breath is to the child as the sap is to the
Now the legs.
One after the other, like roots which will one day
stabilise this tree. But not yet. For
the time being they are still very tentative, for
they have had to fight their way out of the
In order to allay their panic, all that is needed
is to offer them some limit: an open hand the baby’s
feet can meet, offering gentle resistance but
able to be pushed away.
Otherwise, the baby will feel completely
So, little by little, everything settles down,
or rather, everything comes together harmoniously.
Soon, just as if he is waking from his first sleep,
the baby stretches out with a complete sense of his own
Since, while all this has been happening, the
cord has stopped beating, we are now ready for the
next step. But let us go slowly, pausing often.
Haven’t we come a long, long way?
We are out of the water, we have touched dry land.
We’ve left behind the ever-moving, changing, treacherous
kingdom of the fishes.
Now it is the earth that carries us.
Earth which is steady, tranquil, sound and true.
Earth we can trust.
For the very first time, nothing moves.
What a surprise.
But since there is a price for everything, we now know
for the first time how it feels to be heavy.
We’ll have to crawl.
And yet the skies are there, above our heads.
It is their light, their divine light that gave us
the courage to emerge.
And they will give us the courage to stand and walk.What a long, long road, this path from mineral
The path each must tread again when he’s
come to taste the joy that is life.
What else are we doing when we pray?
Nothing but returning to the source,
the source of all life,
as if going through the whole adventure again.
Wanting to pay homage to Earth, our mother,
With folded arms and a humble heart
we bow to the ground.
Our forehead touching the dust we say
for I know that, in your wisdom and love
you know better.
There we remain, folded up, empty,
as empty of that precious breath as the child
not yet born who hasn’t yet tasted that pleasure of life.
Having paid our respects, expressed our gratitude
to the one who carries us,
to whom we owe everything,
into whose womb we will return at the end of our days,
Like a bow
that has let go its arrow,
how vibrant we feel
when, unfolding, we let the air and its joy
fill us full -
as vibrant as we were the day we tasted
our very first dawn.
This, in truth, is prayer.
Since to pray is to be born anew
to the fullness of life.
But then, can one pray in a hurry?
Can it be rushed?
As with the child who’s just arrived,
who’s joined us,
can’t we grant him
a moment of time?
A few words about the hands which will hold the newborn
These hands are the first thing that the child will encounter.
The language they speak is the primal language, the
language of touch.
This is how mother and child were communicating.
It was through the child’s back that he
received her messages.
Now that he’s born, naked and disoriented,
the way we touch him is crucial.
Most of the time, the hands
of the doctors, the midwives, and the nurses are not gentle
Simply because they have not realised what it means to
Because these hands are so unaware, and move much too
quickly, they terrify the child.
Let them be gentle but firm.Most of all, let them move very, very slowly.
Everything we do for the newborn baby is too rushed, too
hurried for one who is only just entering time.
At this moment, what the child needs is to be massaged,
just as newborn animals need to be licked by their
mothers – the act without which they
It is most important that the hands that will massage
the baby’s back can rediscover the rhythm he knows,
the rhythm of the contractions, the rhythm that moves
with the outward breath.
What the child wants to feel again is not the wild fury,
the storm of labour, but the embracing waves that told him
of his mother’s love.
Our hands should travel along his back,
one following the other,
like wave after wave
breaking onto the seashore.
The rhythm of dancers, of lovers.
Love … and the child!
Yet what is it lovers are looking for,
if not to heal the rift,
return to the primal sea,
rediscover its infinite pulse.
A return to paradise,
a pilgrimage back to the source.
So much for rhythm, for movement.
But there is something else that can be transmitted through
hands, even hands that are not moving.
The child is still so sensitive that he will know by
the feel of the hands resting on him, whether he is
loved or refused, accepted or simply being carelessly
Under caring hands, the child opens up and lets go.
Whereas, under stiff mechanical hands, he feels
he’s being clutched by claws, and of course
he closes up, withdraws in panic, as if to escape to
within himself for protection.
Naturally, it’s the mother’s hands that should hold
But often she’s still overcome by her own
emotions, her own fears, which she’s hardly had
time to leave behind.
Her hands are not yet steady and sure.
If someone else, such as a loving midwife, is
there, calm, and able to transmit her inner peace,
her hands would be better in the beginning, until the
mother has had time to catch her breath.
It’s not that we want to take the child away from his
mother, but the intensity of what she’s just lived
through can still be affecting her so strongly that it
overwhelms the child.
In these crucial moments, the child needs peace,
quiet and calm.Often mothers don’t know how to touch their babies.
Or maybe they just don’t dare.
Some deep inhibition seems to hold them back, stop
Possibly because the child has just come from a part
of the body we don’t want to, don’t dare to mention.
Perhaps it’s our education that makes us step back, as
if this part of us does not exist, or at the
very least, is not something we talk about.
So the mother finds herself in a troubling,
conflict-filled situation, torn between her natural urge,
and her inhibitions, product of her repressive
Now let’s come back to the child.
The fullness of his breath tells us that all is well.
The cord has been cut.
It is as if centuries have passed and yet it has only
actually been a matter of a few minutes.
What comes next?
However blissful this time has been for mother and
baby, it must come to an end.
The child cannot stay on his mother’s belly all his life.Just as the child had to depart from the womb, now he
will have to leave his mother’s body.
To meet with what?
This first step in life cannot be but terrifying.
How can we ease it and pacify this terror?
In the same way that giving a new toy to a child makes it
easier for him to part with the one he’s been playing with,
so we must find a way to make him enjoy his first
moment of separation and thus gladly accept that he’s on his
Of course we’re not going to put him on
ice-cold weighing scales, and even the softest towel
cannot compare with his mother’s body.
What could be the answer?
This is where he has come from, and what he’s known
all his life. It’s gentle, it’s familiar.
It is this very familiarity that in the end
will completely calm him. It will be like
meeting an old friend when one is far from home.
This feeling of something familiar saves the child
who is lost in an overwhelming world of new sensations.
A bath has been prepared in a small tub, filled with
water at body temperature, or slightly higher since
it’s going to cool down quickly.
With the permission of the mother, who must be willing,
we take the child,
and slowly, slowly we ease him into the water, feet
first of course.
A sensitive eye can catch how intense the experience is
for the child.
As soon as he finds himself back in water, he becomes
Water has, as it were, once again taken the load of
His joy and feeling of relief are hard to describe.
We have nearly accomplished a miracle, we have turned
this first separation, which is always loaded with
anguish, and which shadows us all our life, into a joy.
One can feel any remaining tensions in the baby
melt away, vanish under our hands.
And as these tensions melt away,
and what is left of his fear disappears, and
the child feels so safe, he even dares to open his
No words can describe the depths of this first look.
It is as if he is asking one and all the questions of man
in that single moment.
Then it becomes so clear that life does not start now, at
this point, but that the child was aware long before
he came to us, and has merely crossed a threshold.
In disagreement with all classical psychology, anyone
who has witnessed such a birth cannot but
“But this child is looking!….
Whether he “sees” in the way we do is another
Maybe we have to accept that there are many ways of
seeing, of knowing.
Completely free from fear, and his first surprise over,
he begins to explore his kingdom.
His head turns to the left, to the right, as if
enjoying its new freedom.
Out comes one hand from under the water, it opens and
reaches towards the sky.
Then the other.
His hands move in such harmony you’d think you were
They meet, clasp, and part,
moving with all the grace of an underwater plant.
As for the legs, a little hesitant at first, soon they too
begin to stretch and play.
And here it is important to say that the feet of the
baby should always be able to find the edge of the bath,
to find a limit, as it were. Otherwise, if they meet
with nothing, the child will experience the same panic as
a swimmer out of his depth.Because his first experience has been so
rich and so pleasant, this baby will always be an
Life, for him, will always be a challenge, which he
will meet with confidence and courage, and an eagerness
to try and taste everything new that
might cross his path.
Is not the constant newness of life, its continual
change and variety, the thing we find
Now that fear has subsided, and been left behind once
and for all, let us try to be free of the past and
Let’s try to take the step out of the sea,
and meet with the earth.Fourth step.
Fourth station of this Calvary which is birth,
where there is neither sin or punishment.
It is truly an odyssey,
and the hero, the newborn,
has accomplished something so difficult.
So little by little we begin to take the child out
of the water.
If he doesn’t like this idea, and protests,
because once again he’s feeling all his own weight,
we don’t force him, but lower him back in again,
only to try to take him out a moment later.
Once again he protests,
goes back to the water,
and comes out again,
and what at first seemed unpleasant,
now becomes a game.
This game we play with him,
lifting him out and lowering him back in the water,
is a way of playing with weight and weightlessness.
Isn’t it true that no matter the culture,
children all over the world love to
which makes them, in turn, heavy as a stone, and light as
Eventually we lift him out completely,
dry him gently, and swaddle him in something warm,
letting him experience for the first time this feeling that
nothing is moving.
Another new and extraordinary feeling for him.
Remember that all those months he spent inside his
mother, everything was moving, whether his mother
was walking or simply breathing quietly in her
But now, for the first time …
and how strange .
nothing is moving at all!
This is the majesty of Earth.
For all those children who have been rushed into the
world, who haven’t been led gently from water to land,
from movement to stillness, with so much love,
intelligence and patience, waking up on their own will
always frighten them.
This immobility will always terrify them.
But for the child whose birth has been such a blessing,
these fears will not exist.
He’ll be free forever from nightmares and guilt.
How impressive it is to watch this child open
his eyes wide, begin to feel his way around,
explore all that surrounds him.
All with no panic, no tears.
On the contrary, with a seriousness, a gravity
that’s hard to believe.
Yes, this child is truly like a wise man, an old soul,
because whatever he does, it is with complete
awareness.But also it seems as if something is emanating
from this child.
He seems to radiate a peace, a serenity, that he’s
brought from somewhere far beyond.
The words of Lao Tzu come to mind:
“One who possesses virtue in abundance, the Holy one,
is like a newborn babe.”
But what is this “virtue”?
It has nothing to do with morality, being virtuous.
“Virtus” in Latin means courage, vitality, virility.
What Japan and China call Chi,
and India Shakti.
It is the secret, silent power of a Zen Master,
a true Master of Martial Arts,
or a saint.
For one who is sensitive enough to feel it,
it is this “virtue,”
this Chi, this Shakti
that silently flows,
shines like a blessing
from the newborn.
This book is obtainable from bookshops. ISBN 0 7493 0642 4. Publisher Cedar